My child is stammering/stuttering

Stammering and Stuttering mean the same thing. In the UK we tend to use stammering and elsewhere it is called stuttering.

Stammering describes words repeated or getting stuck, there is a break in the flow of speaking. It also describes how the individual feels on the inside (their thoughts and feelings) and their behaviour (their willingness to speak).

The information on this page has been adapted from the Michael Palin Centre for stammering website.

What does a stammer sound or look like?

A child who stammers may:

• Repeat whole words, e.g., “and-and-and then I left”
• Repeat single sounds or syllables, e.g., “c-c-come h-h-here mu-mu-mummy”
• Prolong or stretch sounds, e.g., “sssssssometimes I go out”
• Block, where the mouth is in position, but no sound comes out
• Look as though they are tensing up or pushing hard. Often this can be seen around the eyes, nose, lips or neck but it can be seen anywhere in the body
• Try to physically push the word out by making other movements. e.g., stamping a foot, shifting body position, nodding their head or jerking their head to one side, screwing up their eyes, tapping with a finger against something, clenching a fist or making other gestures with their hands
• Do things because they are feeling self-conscious about stammering, e.g., looking down or away or covering their mouth
• Breathe in an unusual way i.e., hold their breath while speaking, talk to the end of their breath and then take a gasp, or take an exaggerated breath before speaking (This sometimes happens because a child has been told to take a deep breath)

Children can become so good at using these strategies that other people may not even realise they stammer or may think that they have a very mild stammer.

Remember: How much a child stammers outwardly does not tell us much about how much it bothers them.

What Can I Do?

Helpful reactions to stammering:

• Listen attentively to your child, concentrating on what he/she is saying, not how they are saying it.
• Remain calm and relaxed, maintaining eye contact. It’s normal for parents to feel anxious when a child starts stammering, but try and avoid transmitting that fear to the child.
• Slow down your own rate of talking, putting lots of pauses in while speaking or before responding is a helpful way of doing this. Children learn about talking from the way others around them speak. By slowing yourself down, you are helping your child to speak more slowly and giving them the message that there’s no rush.
• Ask one question at a time and give them plenty of time to answer. Show them it's okay to pause and take some time between hearing and answering questions.
• Take turns with talking. Make sure you manage turn-taking within the family, encourage family members young and old to listen and take their turn to talk.
• Try to arrange some time during the day when the child can have your full, undivided attention in a calm and relaxed atmosphere for perhaps five minutes.
• Praise your child for the things he/she does well as this helps build confidence for example that putting all their toys away was ‘helpful’.
• Be patient and allow time for the child to finish what he/she has to say

What I shouldn’t do:

• Don’t correct or criticise the child’s talking
• Avoid asking the child to slow down, relax, stop, take a breath or start again. If you feel your child is going too fast, try saying, “It’s OK, there’s no rush.”
• Don’t interrupt your child or try to finish their sentences for them.
• Avoid asking too many questions
• Be aware of the language you use around your child. “Talk about stammering more, or less rather than speech being “good” or “bad”

Remember that most people aren’t fluent all the time; everyone pauses, repeats themselves, and sometimes starts and stops.  Many children stammer as they develop their skills. If the child continues to stammer, there is support and it won’t hold them back in achieving their goals or forming friendships in the future.