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My child is able to talk but does not talk in some places, e.g. nursery/school

Child sitting at table

Is your child talking lots at home but school describe a very different child?

Will they talk to some family members but not all?

Does this sound like your child?

  • They do not speak at school or speak very little even though they talk in other places
  • They have been settled into school for more than a month and are still not talking
  • They can communicate and talk well in some places
  • They sometimes point or use other ways to communicate e.g. gesturing

Your child could have Selective Mutism

What is Selective Mutism?

Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that means children can talk freely in some situations but are unable to talk in others. They may have plenty to say when they are feeling comfortable (with close family members at home) but are unable to speak freely in other situations such as school/nursery or with unfamiliar people.  This is not a choice for the child and selective mutism can be described as a phobia of talking, where children experience panic and may freeze.

Things that can help

These are some strategies that will help children to feel more comfortable and not under any pressure to talk.

  • Reassure the child that you understand that talking is sometimes difficult for them
  • Warmly respond to any attempts to communicate
  • Avoid asking questions and use comments instead e.g.
  • instead of “what have you drawn?” say “I like your picture, what a great house”  
  • instead of ‘’what is your favourite food?’’ say ‘’My favourite food is chicken, I wonder what your favourite food is’’
  • Avoid bribing or putting pressure on children to speak as this is likely to make things worse.
  • When the child does talk to you, do not draw any attention to it and just respond naturally.

What to say when….

  • Adults put pressure on a child to speak e.g. “are you going to speak to me today?” or “why don’t they talk?”

It will be helpful to make a positive comment so that the child doesn’t feel they have done anything wrong e.g. ‘’Sarah is enjoying listening today’’ or ‘’that’s a funny thing to say isn’t it?’’

  • Your child is not able to speak in a certain situation e.g. answering a question from a stranger

Repeat the question to the child or change the question to make it easier for them to answer e.g. if the child is asked what flavour ice-cream they would like, you could give them a choice (vanilla or chocolate) or ask ‘‘Would you like chocolate?’’ and the child may be able to nod or shake their head.

Further help and support

If you feel your child or a child you are working with may be experiencing anxiety about talking, please complete the 'Request for Assistance Form' and return it to: CTT_Childrenspeechandlanguage@wales.nhs.uk

If your child is currently attending school, it may be helpful to complete the referral form together with their teacher.

The Speech and Language Therapy service works together with families and education settings by providing information, training and advice to support the child’s communication. We welcome referrals for children who may be experiencing anxiety about talking who are of Primary school age.

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